how am i gonna become an adult i dont even know how to make a signature
“hello, it is time for you to become adult. sign here.”
*profuse sweating*
(via r4ging-pineapple)
one time when i was a freshman the last bell for the end of seventh period rang and as i was walking out of world geography there was this guy that was SO HAPPY AND EXCITED i guess because it was friday and he ran directly towards the window and he just JUMPED OUT
he JUMPED OUT OF THE WINDOW AND WE WERE ON THE THIRD FLOOR
everybody looked out the window to see if he was ok and when we looked down he was already walking off like absolutely nothing had happened
(Source: discocitronnade-old, via r4ging-pineapple)
If you ever feel like you’re a bad driver remember that in the entire state of Ohio in 1895 there were only two cars on the road and the drivers of those two cars crashed into each other
(via r4ging-pineapple)
okay so today I was at the mall and this girl walking in front of me and tripped and fell and instead of helping her up like a normal person would- I decided to make her feel less embarrassed and fall down too
but I guess another guy had the same idea because we fell at the same time
and then another person fell
and another
and suddenly I was lying in the middle of an impromptu fainting mob and a lot of people were shouting
and the girl who’d originally fallen looked so fucking happy
(via tristan-mckie-is-here)
carry-on-my-consulting-tardis:
I have two moods
One is highly sophisticated intellectual who goes into complex thoughts and is always moody and deep
the other is an immature 5 year old that doesn’t know how to control herself or her language or her actions
there is no inbetween
(via r4ging-pineapple)
the difference between pizza and your opinion is that i asked for pizza
(Source: anotherbadpoem, via un1corns-and-glitter)
i am so jealous of europeans
three hours of travel and they’re in a whole different country, a whole different culture like seriously
three hours of travel and i’m in another town that’s just like mine
except three hours away
(Source: worldaccording, via peacelovevanity-xo)
